Wedding Season

There’s nothing brighter than the glittering lights of romance.  But don’t let the bright lights blind you from seeing the little dark corners of a person’s personality.  You’ll be marrying those little dark corners too and they could have a major impact on your life together.

Marriage is meant to be a lifelong committed partnership. Don’t go into it lightly. Here’s a few questions to ask yourself before that final “I do.”

  1. “What do I love about this person?”  Try to stay away from broad, emotional answers like, “this person makes me feel special.” Instead put something concrete into it. What does this person do to make you feel special?  You get the idea. You should be able to list about 10 solid yet different things you love about this person.
  2. Now that you have your list to get you started.  Ask yourself, “If these items diminish or go away completely, can I accept it?” “Will the lack of these things diminish my love for this person?” Really think about it, because something on that list may drastically change.
  3. Now, make another list asking, “What do I not like about this person?”
  4. Now, ask yourself, “If these items don’t improve or they actually get worse, can I continue to accept it and still live a joyful life with this person?” “Can these things diminish my love for this person?”

I know I’m being a romance killer right now, but there’s nothing romantic about an unhappy marriage or divorce.  I hope these questions will help you to dig deeply and seriously now about your choice before the “I dos” are said and the glitter has faded.  And hopefully the person you’re marrying has considered these questions for themselves because you’ve got little dark corners too.  

If any of the items on your list has caused you to pause, consider seeking professional counsel or advise on the issue(s) with someone who deals with pre-marital topics. Spending a little up front to settle the issues now may save you thousands in the long.

Make good decisions and may you have a long and joyful life.

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